Online Dating, Online Relationships, video games

Finding Love in a Video Game

Some advice that helped me that might help you.

Online dating has become a norm the past few years and with the quarantine, more people are connecting online even more. Some have found love through dating websites and even in video games.

I started playing Elder Scrolls Online about three years ago, shortly after the Morrowind chapter came out. I didn’t plan on meeting new people since I was playing the game for the storyline, not to connect with anyone. Next thing I knew, I made a few friends and joined their little guild, but I left after being with them for a little less than a year. Thanks to another friend, I joined another guild that was a lot different than the last one. There was no drama and no worrying about hurting others feelings. 

This is where I met my boyfriend. He was the guildmaster at the time and welcomed me into the guild with open arms. We played Elder Scrolls Online just about every night after that and we became very good friends. I would send him messages from time to time, reminding him to eat some food, drink some water, get some sleep, or send pictures of his dogs while I was at work. Guild chats weren’t just about things going on in the game, but also what’s going on in real life and letting each other vent. I began to grow feelings for him, but I kept them to myself and made sure he wouldn’t be able to tell. Plus, he lives in Colorado and I live in Texas. I didn’t know his views on long-distance relationships and figured it was something he wasn’t into. This went on for about two years then before New Year’s Eve last year, he sent me a message saying he liked me as more than a friend. On New Year’s Eve, I told him I felt the same way and we became official in January. 

Everything was (and still is) going good in our relationship despite a few issues with some now former guildies. We had planned on meeting each other late March to early April while he was visiting some family in Louisiana, but the higher power had different plans for us. The COVID-19 pandemic struck, and he went back to Colorado to be closer to his parents should something happen. Both of us were bummed that our meeting in person would be postponed, but knew it was best to wait it out until it was safer to travel. 

Last week, we were able to see each other and it was amazing. There were no awkward moments and the nervousness we both felt went away the moment we saw each other. All the months of wishing we could be together, it finally became a reality. Sure, it was only for a few days, but it has made us think more about what we want for the future. 

Okay, enough about me and my relationship. Where is the advice that I said would help? Well, I’m not a relationship expert, and I’m fully aware that my boyfriend and I have only been together for a few months. BUT! I asked a few players that I know that met their partners in a video game. Some are now married, some are still dating long distance, and others have moved in together. 

Here’s what I’ve learned and what they had to say…

Don’t go into an MMORPG thinking you’ll meet someone.

This is probably the most obvious piece of advice, but some will start playing an MMORPG to find The One. From what I learned from other successful couples, they started off as online friends who met through mutual friends or from being in the same guild. They would DM each other through apps,exchange numbers, and their relationship gradually moved onto something more. Most, if not all, couples that met in a video game didn’t think they would meet someone. My boyfriend and I have known each other for almost three years and didn’t become a couple until the beginning of the year. It’s like meeting and knowing someone in real life, take things slowly then become comfortable with each other before taking the next big step.

Long distance SUCKS! But a great team can make it through everything.

There’s a strong chance that two players who meet in a video game are living in different states.. To say that it sucks being so far from my boyfriend is an understatement. I wish we could see each other everyday or even every weekend would be nice, but unfortunately, we can’t. However, we both knew what we were getting into when we started our relationship and we continue to make it work. It takes two to make a relationship work and if both people are putting in the same amount of effort into it, it’ll thrive.

Telling family is awkward, but there is a small trick that might help.

If you’re like me and too chicken to tell family right off the bat that you’re in a relationship with someone you met on a video game (or even online!), there is a way to sort of introduce them. An acquaintance of mine, who met her husband in a video game, told me to start mentioning my boyfriend around my family (by his real name of course!). She said to start mentioning him more and more around them until I’m comfortable to tell them the truth and that advice did help me a lot. By the time I told my mom, she was familiar with my boyfriend and had an idea of who he is. With her knowing who he is, telling my dad was nerve wracking, but it wasn’t bad.

Video chat with each other as much as possible.

With all the apps we have today, it’s a lot easier to see someone without them being physically there. Video chatting is great because you’ll be able to see your partner’s face and see their reactions instead of having to wonder how they really react to certain things. It also helps with getting rid of the awkwardness once you and your partner finally meet in person.

Make time to be alone together.

The relationship started online, so make some time to be alone together. Yes, hanging out with guildies/friends is fun, but having some private time is just as fun. Some nights, my boyfriend and I want a movie night instead of playing video games, so we’ll watch a movie on Netflix. While it sucks that we can’t physically sit next to each other, it does have a certain intimacy that almost feels like we are.

Like a relationship in person, maintaining one online is just as much work. It’s tough not being able to see each other in person, but having similar goals and mindsets help make it a lot easier. Love can be found in the most unexpected place. Finding someone you connect with in a video game is just as good as finding love in person. Gaming does have a bad stigma for causing violent behavior, social disorders, or catfishing. However, there are just as many positive stories out there we don’t hear about. 

-simplesarah

video games

How much longer do we have to wait for Elder Scrolls 6?

If it’s up to them, it’ll be a few years before they tell us details because Starfield is top priority…also what is Starfield?

It was the tweet heard around the world among Elder Scrolls fans…we will not be hearing anything about the Elder Scrolls 6 for a few years. 

Seriously, this was said by Pete Hines AKA The Vice President of Public Relations and Marketing for Bethesda. 

I was stalking around on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitch, and could not find anything else about Elder Scrolls 6. I even stalked Bethesda’s Discord and only found discussions among fans of they thought about the games and what they would like to see in the next installment, but it doesn’t appear Bethesda themselves have said anything officially on the subject.

What do we know about Elder Scrolls 6 so far?

What we do know is that Skyrim Grandma on YouTube, AKA Shirley Curry, will be an NPC in The Elder Scrolls 6. Another thing we sort of know is that Bethesda might be using a new game engine to make the next game, but it’s a tough question to answer. From what I gathered, they might not have the technology to create their vision of Elder Scrolls 6, but they might be replacing their current technology bit by bit to achieve it. Admittedly, I’m not tech-savvy enough to explain it clearly. You can read more about that here on GamesRadar.com which made it easier to understand what it means. Also, it is known that Jeremy Soule hasn’t been contacted to compose the music for Elder Scrolls 6 and he has no involvement with the project so far. As many fans know, Jeremy Soule was the composer for Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion, Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim, and has even helped a little with the music for The Elder Scrolls Online. So fans could be hearing a completely different style of music with the new game. Other than a teaser trailer, we know nothing else and can only wonder what awaits us.

I don’t expect we’ll hear anything more about Elder Scrolls 6 other than that we won’t hear anything for a few years and I expect that Bethesda will keep that promise. When they want to remain silent on something, they become the champion of the silent treatment. 

Now, there are plenty of fans out there with theories on where the next game will take place, and there are some convincing ones. One video that caught my attention and one of the first videos to pop up on YouTube when looking up Elder Scrolls 6 is Camelworks’ video which you can watch here. In this video, he talks about where he thinks the next Elder Scrolls game will take place and provides evidence on his reasons why. However, while we can theorize where the next game will take place, Bethesda is the only one that knows and they aren’t talking…yet.

So, what exactly is taking up Bethesda’s time? 

Starfield.

Wait…what is that?

What is Starfield and why is it taking up so much of Bethesda’s time?

Okay, so what the heck is Starfield?

Don’t worry if you feel a little lost because a lot of us who know about this game are with you. In a nutshell, Starfield is an upcoming space RPG that Bethesda has been working on for years and is considered their top priority right now, and was (maybe still is?) set to release this year. Aside from bits and pieces that Bethesda has said in interviews (not much), social media (again, not much), and a teaser trailer, we really don’t know anything about the game itself.

Is that…it?

Basically, yes. Todd Howard said that is something Bethesda had discussed for a decade and started actively developing it after Fallout 4. It will have that Bethesda charm to it, but it’s going to be different than anything they’ve done. Which is good since Bethesda doesn’t have an RPG set in space, so it’ll be interesting to see their take on it. From what I’ve seen, this was something that they really wanted to make happen and it seems like they are.

Yet, given the little bit of information we know about Starfield, it’s almost a little frustrating that Bethesda hasn’t said anything else about it and that it’s taking up their time instead of making Elder Scrolls 6, a game from a beloved series that has a passionate fanbase. Unfortunately, Bethesda didn’t plan on hosting a digital showcase for E3 before it was cancelled which I imagine frustrated fans even more since this means we don’t know when we’ll hear more about Starfield until Bethesda decides it’s ready to release information. Much like Elder Scrolls 6, we are left in the dark and can only wonder what awaits us.

At this point, all we can do is hope that Starfield is worth the hype that Bethesda has put around it and that it will be the start of something great and new. Otherwise, they could potentially be looking at another Fallout 76 start off fiasco. While the gameplay has improved, anyone who knows about Fallout 76 knows that it was a huge disappointment when it was released. 

We’re going to be waiting a while, but you can enjoy Skyrim in a different way in the meantime!

Seeing as how Bethesda is keeping mum about Elder Scrolls 6, we shouldn’t expect any more details about it for a long time. For now, fans of the series continue to post about Skyrim even though it’s been out since 2011, which speaks volumes for how great the game is. Plus there’s always new mods being released to make it more fun! Then, there’s Elder Scrolls Online, which despite the numerous complaints about lagging, broken mechanics in trials and dungeons, random blue screens in Cyrodiil, etc. is still going strong on all platforms and released the Greymoor chapter on May 26th for PC and will be released on June 9th for Xbox One and Playstation 4. The Greymoor chapter will actually be taking players back to Skyrim only this time during the Second Era and will be taking Skyrim fans back to familiar places like Solitude and Blackreach. I almost feel like this is continuing the meme that Skyrim is being re-released yet again, only it’s not, but it kind of feels like it is. Did anyone else think this? Especially since Zenimax Online Studios is only releasing a part of Skyrim and there’s still other areas like Markarth, Whiterun, Winterhold, and Dawnstar that haven’t made an appearance in ESO. This would mean Skyrim is getting re-released this year…only it’s set in the Second Era.

-simplesarah